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Thursday, July 23, 1998Hi everybody! Sorry you haven't heard from me in awhile, but I was kinda waiting until I had some good substantial news for you! Now I finally do, so here goes!
Well, folks, it's been a good couple of weeks for white blood cells! I had my interim blood test a week ago, and my counts were good (3.1 overall, 2.3 neutrophils), and again this week. On the day before chemo, my counts were again 3.1 overall, and 2.08
neutrophils. I needed 2.0 neutrophils to get my chemo so I squeaked by by the skin of my teeth! The way this white blood cell thing works is that I get an overall white blood cell count, which is somewhat meaningful. Mine have been hovering in the 3.0 range, while normal people tend to have counts around 6.0 or so (this is all times 10 to the third - in other words, we're not talking 3 white blood cells, we're talking 3,000, per some unit or other of blood). Anyway, while the overall WBC count is important, what really
determines whether I can get chemo or not is the percentage of these cells that are classified as neutrophils, which are a type of white blood cell. So usually they tell me I have a WBC of 3.1 or whatever, and a neutrophil percentage of 67%, or whatever. Then the nurse does the math and says: "Hey! You're neutrophil count is 2.0! You can have chemo! Barely!" and I say "Yay! Go George and Mary!" (see my last journal entry for an explanation of *that* comment!)So right on schedule, without the aid of Neupogen or any other additional pharmaceutical substances, I got my third chemo treatment today. As my Mom pointed out, that means I am one quarter done! It's starting to feel like I'm really making progress. At this point,
it also means for sure that I will NOT be having chemo on my birthday. Of course, this also means I'll never find out what kind of interesting rituals the oncology nurses might concoct for administering chemo on someone's birthday. Candles in the IV bag? Calling over all other nurses in the building to sing Happy Birthday to you? Extra anti-nausea meds? Guess I'll never know. Darn.Also, if I can continue to eke by with my own white blood cell manufacturing, I won't have to have chemo on vacation during the second week of August either. I won't know that for sure until I get my NEXT treatment on schedule, which will depend on my next
blood counts two weeks from now. So, your thoughts and prayers for my white blood cells are working folks! Keep 'em comin'! They are much appreciated!As for how I'm feeling. I have to say that this past week, I felt pretty good. What's interesting is that before my treatment started, I had an undercurrent of fatigue that did not go away ever, which I attributed to the cancer. So it was dragging me down, even on good days. Now, the chemo has numerous disconcerting side effects, but it's more of an ebb and flow type deal with good days, bad days,
and a few fair to middling days thrown in. On good days, I feel BETTER than I did on any day pre-treatment. On those days, I have no undercurrent of fatigue at all. Of course, I don't have as many of these days as I would like, but I do have them.In fact, this morning, I felt GREAT! So I was talking to my friend Merle, and I told her that at times like that, especially on the morning before chemo, it's a bit perplexing to realize that I will shortly be feeling lousy again because now that I'm feeling so great,
I'm going to march right in and let them pump me full of chemo which will make me feel lousy again. Then I sort of feel like "Why am I doing this again?" and fortunately, a loud voice in my head then answers back "Because you want to live, dummy." Oh yeah, there's that.So now, chemo #3 plus 9 hours, I'm back to feeling kinda weird and bizarre, which is the only way I can begin to describe my immediate post chemo effects. As the days go by, I expect the kinda weird and bizarre feeling to evolve into more general overall
yukiness as seems to be the pattern. So far, almost zero nausea so that's a good thing! Mom's special meatloaf helped in that area.Also, for those of you who haven't heard, the big ugly lump in my neck has totally and completely VANISHED. Gone. Kaput. Sayonara. Even the doc couldn't feel it after much prodding. He said it's a good sign! He also said it would be highly unusual for
the neck lump to have shrunk so much without corresponding shrinkage in my chest mass. I have consistently felt chest sensation in the first 4 to 5 days after chemo, which I'm attributing to that big thing shrinking. I'm envisioning the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz after water was thrown on her and she started screeching "I'm melting! I'm meeelting! Oh my beautiful wickedness!!" Except instead of standing there horrified like little Dorothy did, I'm laughing triumphantly!Well, I have another doctor's appointment next week, and we'll be getting some progress CAT scans done, I believe before my next scheduled treatment. I should know more then about my chest mass situation. In the hair department, my remaining hair has grown back to become stubble about an eighth of an inch long. Poor Fifi the wig is lonesome in her closet, because it is just too darn hot to wear anything but hats and bandanas. Mostly I'm wearing bandanas, except when I'm at work, where the biker image seems somewhat less appropriate. I've found that the baseball caps make me look, as my friend Melinda put it, "like the kid from the Jimmy Fund", so though I've received some nice ones, I probably won't be wearing them much until I get a bit more hair.
Well, that about wraps it up for this week. Keep those good vibes and wishes coming in! They are the best medicine in the world for me. Stay cool in the heat everyone!
Carpe Diem (that's "Seize the Day" in Latin for those who have asked!)
10:00 PM
